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Page: The Law
If I Know A Rape Victim?
Support
If you know someone who has been raped, be supportive. Do
not blame the victim. Rape is a crime, and blame belongs
with the
person that committed the crime. Remember that it is never
the victim’s fault.
Listen and Help
Respond to what she says she needs – not what you think
she needs. Support her in calling a rape crisis center and
getting medical attention. If she wants to report to police,
offer to go with her. If she does not want to report, respect
her decision.
Action
Offer to help make phone calls for her. Offer to drive her
to the hospital, police station and rape crisis center. Offer
to stay with her during the medical examination and interviews.
The Impact
Rape is traumatic and affects the victim physically and emotionally.
Every victim reacts differently to being raped.
In cases of acquaintance rape, the victim’s trust in
someone she knows has been destroyed. Likewise, her trust in
her own judgment about people is shaken. A victim may blame
herself. She may think the rape would not have happened “if
only”… she had not gone to the party… let
him in her apartment… agreed to study at his house… This
is why it is so important to be supportive of the victim and
to remember the rape is not her fault.
The victim may suffer sleeplessness, nightmares,
fear, poor concentration, anxiety, changes in appetite, loss
of self-confidence,
stress-related illness, grief and despair. She may become
depressed and withdrawn. If she is a student, she may transfer
to another
school or drop out of school altogether.
Many victims may try to forget about the
rape. Some victims fear that they will not be believed if they
tell someone. Others
may not identify what happened as rape. Some victims are
afraid to report an assault because they were drinking or using
drugs.
Often, the victim does not ask for support or counseling
as she struggles to recover from the assault.
Male Victims
As a man, you can be sexually assaulted by an acquaintance.
You may be pressured or forced into unwanted sex by a friend,
relative, date or other acquaintance. If this happens to
you, you are entitled to the same services and legal remedies
as
any other victim.
If you are sexually assaulted, you may fear
that your masculinity is in question. You may ask: Why couldn’t
I protect myself? Has this ever happened to any other man?
If the attacker is a female, you may fear that no one would
believe
your story or that you would be laughed at.
It is important to remember that sexual assault
is a crime. You are not at fault. You are entitled to support – to
medical care, legal assistance and counseling. You may want
to call a rape crisis center for help in getting these services.
Why Does It Happen?
A rapist is a criminal. Acquaintance rape happens because
the attacker chooses to force sex on the victim. There
are many
reasons why he may do this. He may want to control, punish
or humiliate the victim. He may believe he is entitled to
sex regardless of what she wants. He may think he can get
away
with it. It is not the victim’s fault.
What About Alcohol?
Women should be able to drink or go to a party without fear
of rape. This is their right. Women should not be judged
differently than men for drinking or going to a party.
If a woman is raped at a party where she
was drinking alcohol,
she is often blamed for the assault. The rapist, on the other
hand, is often not held accountable for his violent behavior.
He uses drinking as his excuse: “I didn’t know
what I was doing.”
Unfortunately, women are more vulnerable
to sexual assault when they are drinking. To be safer, a woman
may want to drink
moderately and know her limits. She may also want to ask
a friend along when going to a party or bar.
Men can take responsibility for making parties
and bars safer for women. Men can stay sober and control their
behavior. They
can intervene if a woman is being harassed. They can be sure
that a woman is not isolated from the group by other men.
They can refuse to go along with plans for “getting the woman
drunk.” They can help an intoxicated woman get home safely.
They can remember that rape is a crime.
What About Date Rape Drugs?
Rapists can use a variety of drugs to make a woman defenseless.
GHB and Royhpnol are among the more widely distributed. These
drugs are often colorless, odorless and tasteless. They can
cause a woman to lose mobility and even consciousness. When
she wakes up, the woman may not have any memory of the assault.
Some of the drugs may be used recreationally
by women who do
not fully understand their effects. Or, someone may slip
the drug into a drink that has been left unattended while a
woman
is dancing or using the restroom.
To protect yourself against a rapist using
drugs:
- Go to parties with friends and people that
you trust.
- Do not leave your drink unattended. If you
do, get a new
drink.
- Do not use any unfamiliar substances offered
to you at a
party.
- If you feel dizzy or disoriented, ask a
friend for help
immediately.
- If you wake up with no memory of what happened
the night
before, go to an emergency medical center immediately.
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