Understanding The
Facts
Rape is a traumatic life crisis that can overwhelm a person’s
normal ability to cope. Rape is sex without consent. The rapist
overpowers the victim with intimidation, threats, physical
force or weapons. He controls, humiliates, terrifies and violates
the victim physically and emotionally. Rape can affect anyone,
anytime, anywhere.
Victims of rape come from all races and
all social and economical levels. So do the men and boys who
commit rape. A telephone survey of a national sample of adults
revealed that 27% of women and 16% of men experienced a sexual
offense by age 18. Similarly, in a national mail-out survey
of a random sample, 32% of females and 13% of males reported
a history of contact sexual abuse.
Young women are at the highest risk for
sexual violence. One study found that one in three girls experiences
sexual abuse before the age of 18. Government statistics indicate
that, while victims range in age from infants to the elderly,
women aged 16-24 are three times more likely to be raped than
other women. This data is similar to a research study which
found that most rape, and specifically acquaintance rape,
happens to women between the ages of 15 and 25. One study
found that 61% of female rape victims are under the age of
18.
Rape is never the victim’s fault.
The rape is not about how she was dressed, where she was,
or decisions she made prior to the rape. Beliefs such as the
victim “asked for it” or enjoyed the experience,
are dangerous and destructive myths. These myths blame the
victim for rape instead of holding the offender accountable.
Seventy-five percent of sexual assaults
are committed by an acquaintance. This may be a family member,
friend, date or other person she knows. If the rapist was
someone she knew, the victim may question her judgment and
have difficulty trusting others in the future. She may be
unsure who to confide in.
The months after a sexual assault may be
difficult, with many ups and downs. Recovery may be a slow
process, and it is different for each person. It is helpful
to learn what to expect and what you can do to help.
Understand What
To Expect
There are several immediate decisions for the victim to make.
As strongly as you may feel, you should not make decisions
for the victim or pressure her about her decisions.
Choices
Some Things The Victim May Choose To Do Are Listed Below:
- Call a rape crisis center for
assistance. The crisis center will provide crisis counseling,
assistance with medical care, guidance through the legal
system and other services.
- Seek medical attention. The victim may
have physical injuries, sexually transmitted infections
or be at risk for pregnancy.
- Report the rape to the police. The police
are responsible for taking a report. They will interview
the victim in detail about the assault and the rapist.
- Take no action. Some victims choose
not to report the assault or seek other assistance. While
you may not agree with the victim’s choice, she needs
to be in charge of her decisions at this time.
Reactions
After rape, many victims experience
shock and disbelief, followed by fear, helplessness, shame,
anxiety and anger. One of the most harmful results of rape
can be damage to self-esteem. Victims also may lose confidence
in their ability to make decisions about their lives. Physical
symptoms can include stomach pain, nausea and headaches, as
well as changes in eating and sleeping habits. Flashbacks,
nightmares and recurring dreams are also common.
The victim may not want to talk with you
about the assault. Do not take this personally. It is painful
for victims to talk about the assault, and it is difficult
to share these feelings. Even if she chooses not to, it is
important for her to know she can talk to you about her feelings
and emotions. Allow the victim to initiate any discussion
about the rape.
Be respectful of the victim’s feelings.
Follow her lead regarding any physical contact. The victim
needs to be in charge and move at her own speed. For partners,
remember the victim was violated by someone who used sex as
a weapon. The victim needs to make her own decisions about
engaging in sexual activity.
Recovery
Some victims will never “get
over” the rape and return to how they were. On the surface,
a victim may appear to be coping with the experience and trying
to relate to family and friends. She may return to everyday
activities. Yet she may not have resolved fears, self-doubts,
damage to spiritual beliefs and other feelings about the assault.
Rape affects everyone differently.
Healing takes time, so don’t expect too much, too soon.
Healing varies a lot depending on the survivor’s age,
personality, support systems and how she is treated by others.
The sexual assault will always be a part of her life, but
the survivor can heal.
Next Page:
How To Be Supportive
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