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The Effects on Your Child ...
After the abuse, the behavior of your child may change for
a time. You may notice any of the following:
- Heightened fear or anxiety;
- Increased tearfulness or crying;
- Disturbed sleeping patterns such as fear
of going to bed, fear of sleeping alone, nightmares and
bedwetting;
- Loss of appetite;
- Irritable nature, losing patience easily;
- Temper tantrums;
- Isolation or secrecy;
- Difficulty at school, such as poor concentration
and loss of
interest in classroom activities.
The absence of these symptoms doesn’t
mean the abuse didn’t occur.
While you should be aware of any changes in your child’s
behavior or attitude, some children are not visibly changed by
the experience.
How Long Will it Last?
Symptoms you can see usually last a few weeks. However, other
problems may remain. The child’s reaction depends
greatly on how parents and other important people handle
the situation. If the child feels especially loved and
protected
during this time, she may recover from the trauma more quickly.
How Should I Respond?
After learning your child has been sexually abused, try to
respond with patience and kindness to your child, yourself
and your family.
Try these
suggestions:
- Help your child to express her feelings.
- Do not blame the child for what has happened.
Tell your child that you are not angry with her and that
she did nothing
wrong. Tell
your child
that you
are concerned
about her and want to help her.
- Be honest with your child. Share what you
know. She needs to trust you more than ever.
- Restore your child’s sense
of control. Allow her to help decide what to do. Assure
her that you
will be with her and help her.
- Do not push your child to talk about the
experience. If the subject comes up, discuss it honestly
and openly.
- Maintain routines and return to
your family’s
usual activities as soon as possible. Don’t become
too protective of your child. You want to calm any sense
of urgency
or emergency and not escalate the fear or anxiety.
- Give your child safety information, but
avoid causing her to be more fearful of people than she
already is. Help
her identify
safe
people
to go to when
she is scared or sad.
- Pay attention to the needs of other children
in your household. Give them the information and support
they need to deal
with their concerns.
- Discuss your feelings with someone
you trust, such as a friend, relative or counselor. This
is not a
time for you
to be “tough.” It is a good time to seek
support for yourself.
Where Can I Get Help?
From a Rape Crisis Center ...
You can call a rape crisis center for advice and help. Phone
numbers are listed at the end of this booklet. Each crisis
center has workers that can help you get medical care and legal
assistance. Centers also provide ongoing individual and family
counseling services.
Crisis center staff and volunteers can help you report the
abuse to police and DCFS and can provide emotional support
for you, your child and your other family members. Crisis
center staff will go with you to meetings with police, the
prosecutor
and the DCFS caseworker. Staff will also go to court with
you and your child. Staff counselors at the rape crisis center
can assist you and your family in the healing process after
sexual abuse.
These services are free and confidential to victims and their
friends and family. Your confidentiality when contacting
a rape crisis center is protected under Illinois law.
From a Doctor or Hospital ...
Your child may not appear to be injured, but a medical exam
is needed to check for injuries, sexually transmitted diseases
or other physical evidence of sexual abuse. It is important
to preserve any medical evidence of the abuse. Therefore,
a sexually abused child should have a complete physical
exam by a doctor as soon as possible after the incident
occurs,
even if you don’t learn of the abuse until months
later.
From the Police or DCFS ...
Child sexual abuse is a crime and should be reported to
your local police department. If the abuser is a parent,
teacher
or other caretaker, call the Illinois Department of Children
and Family Services at 1/800-25-ABUSE. The hotline worker
will tell you if DCFS can help with your child’s case.
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