From the beginning ...
This guide provides basic information about the issue of child
sexual abuse.
When your child is sexually abused, you want to be helpful, but
you may not know how to handle the problem or what to expect
from the agencies that may become involved in the case.
If parents of child sexual abuse victims can
understand what has happened to their child and learn what to
expect, they are
often better able to help their child recover from the abuse.
What to do?
One of the most helpful things you can do is find information
and support for yourself and your child. Sexual abuse is
upsetting and confusing for parents, as well as for the child.
Being
informed will help you make good decisions. It is also helpful
to talk
with your child and let her be involved in decisions. This
will help her regain a sense of control.
Remember that even though your child may not have physical
injuries, she may be upset, afraid or worried. It is not
easy to discuss
the abuse, but your child may not worry as much if you talk
about it. She needs to know that you are not afraid and that
you are
listening to her.
You should not seek revenge against your child’s abuser
or the abuser’s family. This is a natural desire, but
it will cause more problems and divert you from your main
goal:
helping your child and your family recover.
You are not Alone ...
In the United States, one in three girls and one in six boys
have been sexually abused before the age of 18.
In response to such abuse, special services
have been developed to help victims and their families. This
booklet tells
you about some of those services. Ask for help: for your
child,
yourself
and your family.
What is Child Sexual Abuse?
In the broadest definition, child sexual abuse may refer
to:
- Any forced or coerced sexual activity involving
a child;
- Sexual contact between a child and another
person (whether it is an adult or another child) in which
treats, bribes or other tricks are used to get the child to
participate
in the activity;
- Any sexual contact between an adult and a child.
Some
sexual
abuse is physically violent. Most is not. This
might include:
- Sexual talk;
- Flashing of sexual body
parts or exposure to sex acts;
- Voyeurism or peeping activities;
- Child pornography;
- Encouraging or promoting child prostitution.
You should take any of these behaviors seriously
and report them to law enforcement.
Often, the abuser will persuade the child
to cooperate and to keep the abuse a secret. This persuasion
may involve the promise of special treats or privileges
or threats of physical punishment and other consequences to loved ones or pets.
Or, the abuser may not need to make any threats. Children are taught to obey
adults and the abuser may take advantage of this, especially if he is a person
the child knows and trusts.
The Offenders?
People who sexually abuse children come from all economic,
ethnic, social and educational backgrounds. You cannot recognize
abusers by their appearance. They
do not fit any stereotypes. They do not look like any images of dirty old men,
perverts or loners.
About 80% of all sexual abuse of children
is perpetrated by someone known to the child. Many abusers are
people the child loves and trusts. Most of the people
who sexually abuse children are heterosexual men. Abusers are often married
and have children.
Abusers may prey on young boys as well as
girls.
Although it is often difficult for adults to believe, children
sometimes sexually abuse other children. Sometimes, sexual
contact between children is curiosity
or exploration. But if one child is older or bigger than the other, or if the
behavior between the children seems unusual or abusive, parents should intervene.
Next Page: The Effects on Your Child ...
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